The Wet Tshirt Contest
by Aislin Oriel
Summary: This is the contest to end all contests. There is a different take on everything. This has a lesson... it can't be called a moral. Rated T for the use of innuendos, and some clothing choices. All in the name of fun! 1xR, 2xH


~ The Wet T-shirt Contest ~  
  
By Aislin Oriel  
  
"There is a different take on everything. This has a lesson - it can't be called a moral." Relena lectured. Hilde also shook her head in disapproval.  
  
* Flashback *  
  
"Hey Hilde-babe, you know what would be a really cool thing that you girls could do for us?" Duo asked. (Tempting fate, ne?)  
  
"Uh-oh, I can guess, but what?" she set herself up.  
  
"Well . . . I've got some super soakers in the garage, and you and Relena are wearing bathing suits and white shirts . . ." he hinted oh-so- subtly and braced for impact.  
  
"Duo!" she screeched and went to smack him,  
  
"Wait." Relena said firmly, stopping her.  
  
"Huh?" her indigo-tressed comrad looked confused.  
  
Completely collected, Relena began, "Alright, it is very hot,"  
  
"What, you're kidding? You aren't seriously going to agree to such a chauvanist-"  
  
"Trust me, it's okay." Relena said convincingly enough. Hilde knew that she had something up her sleeve and just couldn't wait to hear it.  
  
"Relena?" Heero also raised an eyebrow. She just smiled at him.  
  
Duo licked his lips, "Great! Wow, I'll go get the waterguns." he said a little too happily before sprinting off in his usual manner (you know, the way where he's running so fast you can't see his legs moving).  
  
"Heero, why don't you go fill up some pails with water?" Relena suggested; and though he gave her a strange look, he went off to do so.  
  
"So, what's the plan?" Hilde asked.  
  
Relena began to quickly explain, Hilde's mischievious grin becoming bigger and bigger.  
  
"Now I just have to make a few calls and cash in some favours. Here's what you do . . ."  
  
~*~  
  
Approximately a half hour later, the four were stationed in the extensive backyard.  
  
"Okay, we'll do this, but here's the rules:" Hilde bagan, "You must stand atleast 30 metres back at all times for it to be fair. And risking Duo's wisecracks and giggles, you're gonna have to pump those squirt-guns really hard and fast." she paused to allow him to chuckle immaturely. "Here," she sat the timer down on the ground and set it for exactly one minute.  
  
'Wow, she's really goin' all out for this!' Duo thought to himself.  
  
"When the alarm goes off, put down the guns and we'll come over and show you your collateral damage."  
  
'Ow, but the fun part is being able to see it when you do it." Duo whined.  
  
"Well, then we'll let you have a few shots again afterwards - the winner that is." she added.  
  
Duo smiled smugly over to his friend, "Sorry Heero-buddy, you lose out. You couldn't hit Relena if she were a target 2 feet away." he teased, then thought about that more until a perverted image stole it's way into his head, then popped away just as soon.  
  
"We'll see about that, buddy." Heero challanged.  
  
"'Kay, let's get to it. When we give you the signal, push the button - fair play guys!" Hilde instructed and began to walk off.  
  
"Oh, and remember to re-fill in those buckets if you run out of 'ammo'." Relena reminded and went off, following Hilde to change and get ready.  
  
Duo cocked the watergun and smiled snidely over at Heero, "Prepare to die."  
  
~*~  
  
Several moments later, the guys were busy getting their male-ish jollies in the pursuit of Wet T-shirt Contest victory. Finally, the buzzer went off and the girls went over to them.  
  
Only upon closer inspection, did they realize their emmense error.  
  
"Hi guys!" Quatre said cheerfully and took off his short blue wig.  
  
"Nice aim." Trowa commented from under long blonde locks.  
  
Duo and Heero looked petrified and/or mortified. (Either way, they were pretty scared!) Quatre casually adjusted his fake foam breasts from under the soaked white t-shirt.  
  
"Ahh!" Duo cried in disgust.  
  
Heero closed his eyes and shook his head in shame, a red glow emmiting from his face.  
  
At this moment, up walked Hilde and Relena, who slung their arms over their shocked boyfriends' shoulders. Each were wearing the opposing clothes of their doubles.  
  
"Thanks a bunch guys. You two look really good in our bikinis. Good thing we're the same size, eh?" Hilde laughed, straightening the purple vest she was wearing.  
  
"We've been had." 'Like the fools we are . . .' Duo added silently to himself, still recovering from the trauma.  
  
Ignoring the braided wonder's comment, Trowa responded, "Hey, we were glad to help. We owed you two anyway." he said 'el monotone and undid the tie in the back of the shirt and took it off.  
  
Heero and Duo didn't want to ask what the girls had done to deserve such a favour.  
  
Trowa then proceeded in ringing the garment saying, "Oh, and Heero, that really wasn't fair using vegetable oil instead of water."  
  
"Hey! Why didn't I think of that?" Duo pouted, but then remembered the situation, looked at Quatre, and cringed. "Okay Heero, you win. He's all yours!" After pushing Heero towards Trowa, he began a speedy retreat, with his friend not far behind with his messy-loaded super soaker.  
  
"Boys will be boys. But I can't wait to get out of these pants." Relena said and tugged on the tight blue jeans she was wearing. They just weren't made for hips. (Hehe.)  
  
* End Flashback *  
  
Hilde finished doing up the back of her swimsuit top, "Now, what's the moral - or lesson, whatever, of this story?" she quizzed.  
  
Duo ventured a guess, "There's always room for flashbacks?"  
  
Hilde shook her head, "That's true, but it's not the point."  
  
"The best things in life truely are free - but the free things in life are often a hoax?" Heero tried. Relena smiled at his words and snuggled closer.  
  
"Nope," Hilde shook her head and sat down in Duo's lap, "Both wrong; should've picked option c)! Relena?"  
  
Relena paused for dramatic effect, then said with a flourish that contrasted her simple tone of voice, "Always treat your girlfriends with respect, or they'll pair you up with men."  
  
"Wow, the school of hard knocks. Definately an aweful lesson to learn." Duo sighed stressfully.  
  
* Finito! *  
  
  
  
AN: Oooh! Hehehe . . . lotsa inuendos, Quatre and Trowa in drag, Heero mocking Duo - I mean, what could be more fun!? It just goes to prove that guys don't think with their brains. Oh, the girls are so devious! And just think about it, Q & T probably would look hot in bikinis! ^-~ Sadly enough . . . 


End file.
